Monday, January 21, 2008

Zombies: Coming Soon....Everywhere!

It's not exactly a secret now that the story is in the public domain, but it's definitely strange and it does concern the official world, so I'm going to mention it: namely, a project to understand "human fear" chemicals. Why? Why else: to use them in some fashion on the battlefield, of course! Did you really need to ask?

In view of this somewhat unsettling development, it can surely only be a matter of time before military boffins of a definitive Dr. Strangelove-style seek to understand the nature of "human rage" chemicals too. Then you just know what will happen: the creation of a rage-virus, as per 28 Days Later, that catastrophically breaks out of the confines of the lab and begins to spread wildly among the masses.

As a committed zombie fanatic, I heartily look forward to the day when I may actually get to do battle with cannibal zombies in the remains of some ruined city where the undead roam the streets and the struggling survivors...well, struggle to survive!

There is one good thing in all this, however: given that a high percentage of the population is now fat and diabetic, the real-life rage-people will be easy to outrun - unlike their marauding on-screen equivalents in the 28 Days films and the glorious 2004 remake of Dawn of the Dead.

Roll on the Zombie Holocaust! Dead Cities! Armageddon! The World Collapses! Only Britain Soldiers On! Etc.

Remember this blog-post with fondness and nostalgia when you are barricaded in your home and the flesh-eating dead are tearing down the walls to eat your brain.


Gerardine Baugh said...

I've practiced Martial Arts for over 20 years and have an extensive weapon collection most of which is fully functional, little of that ornamental garbage.
I too await the day of the zombies!
Let 'em try and chase me without arms and legs! HA!
By my sword death to the undead!
Shotguns would be good too, a double-barrel 12 gauge at the right range doesn't leave enough of a human torso to fill a shoebox.
Take that you undead freaks!

Gerardine Baugh said...

The previous post was left by my husband Michael.
Pity the legions of undead.

Nick Redfern said...

LOL, it's good to see the future is in safe hands!